We’ve all experienced points in our lives that we have allowed ourselves to be vulnerable. Whether to a friend, a co-worker, a significant other, or a family member.
Sadly, we’ve also most likely experienced pain when that act of vulnerability blows up in our faces.
What we do after that implosion of emotion is what can completely dictate our future quality of relationships, success in life, and overall mental health.
We live in a society where people would rather isolate themselves behind walls forged of false social media happiness, trapped in their own personal version of hell, rather than allow other people (sometimes even those closest to them) see them struggle.
We struggle, all the while posting happy smiling pictures on our instagrams next to motivational quotes about how “in control” of our lives we are.
I am 100% guilty of this at times. There are times, like right now writing this blog sitting in a chapel because I’m too afraid to sit in my apartment alone with my thoughts, that I feel a deep insatiable urge to isolate myself and rebuild impenetrable walls.
A massive barrier to my true emotional state of being. All the while keeping up the social facade that I am always motivated and constantly “Chasing my Apex”.
For me, The Apex is not just a way to reach out to help others, it’s genuinely a therapy for me. I was GIFTED with these internal struggles and, through experience, gained the WISDOM to see their value. The internal battles I face on a daily basis are what allow me to reach out, relate to, and help other people. You can do this too, as long as you’re willing to stay vulnerable, as uncomfortable as that may be.
The danger with these voices that plague our minds lies within us. When we decide to start building walls and lock the door, they begin to take over. When we are alone, our afflictions are able to overpower us.
One of my favorite quotes is “if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you wish to go far, go together”
When we build up those walls around our hearts, we may be able to keep up the facade of happiness. Sure we can post pictures, go to concerts, hang out with friends, we are all really good at pretending to be happy.
But deep, deep down... we end up empty. We actually convince ourselves that we’re unworthy of even being happy in the first place and that anything good entering our lives must be “too good to be true”
We literally keep ourselves from being happy in an attempt to protect ourselves from disappointment.
Without darkness, there can be no dawn.
Without an abyss there can be no apex.
Without being vulnerable and honest with ourselves and those close to us, we are doomed to a society filled with falsely happy, pseudo-successful people that are trapped inside their own consciousness.
Unlocking that door, even for one person, can be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Keeping it open is even harder still.
But I promise that choosing to live in your own pain strictly because it’s familiar is the worst form of self torture I can think of.
I hope by reading this you know that it is ok if you’re trapped behind that door. I was for an extremely long time.
It’s ok to be scared.
It’s ok to be anxious.
What isn’t ok is losing out on the potential of who you were meant to become because you are unwilling to ask for help or let anyone in past your defenses.
There are a lot of people out there like you and I. Wishing they could meet someone who would be willing to hold their hand as they unlock the door they’ve been trapped behind for all these years.
So be the one willing to hold their hand, find the key, and unlock the door.
Who knows, you may end up making a friend, falling in love, or learning something about yourself in the process.
You’ll only really find out if you let yourself be vulnerable.