The Apex Blog | The Toxicity of Pride | Jan Almasy


It’s an emotion we all feel. If you’re religious at all, I'm sure that you’ve heard this word mentioned time and time again in different scriptures. What exactly is pride? From my personal experience I believe that balancing this attribute of one's personality is one of the hardest things to do.

It’s important to have pride in what you do. To be proud of your accomplishments and your effort. It’s what motivates us to keep going when times get hard -- along with Ego and Hope (which we may talk about at a different time).

But the INTENTION behind it and how deep you allow that pride to run is where the toxicity can manifest itself. You can really hurt, demean, and demoralize others with pride. The people you may find closest to you, will begin to distance themselves because of pride. You may lose out on business deals because of pride. 

But what are the warning signs? How do you fix this gaping hole in your armor?

Have you ever felt yourself cringe back from an opportunity because you believe it’s “below you” or that its “someone else's job”?

That’s Pride.

Have you ever spoken over someone during a conversation and completely drowned them out with your own opinion since there is NO CHANCE that you could possibly be wrong because YOU have explored every possible angle on the subject being discussed?

That’s Pride.

Have you ever driven a loved one to the point of breaking because they feel as though they can’t even share their feelings with you because all you’ll do is somehow attempt to fix the issue because YOU KNOW BEST?

That’s Pride.

Any of that sound familiar? I know it does for me. There are a lot of people out there that for some reason believe that other people around them don’t struggle with similar things because of how they portray themselves.

I can promise you one thing. WE ALL have struggles.

So what are some ways to deal with this horrible manifestation?

Rule 1: Listen Twice as much as you Talk.

This one is hard for me. My grandfather always said you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen twice as much as you talk. This allows you to really listen and care. Not just listening to respond to something, but truly listening with the intention of empathizing and stepping into that person’s shoes.

Rule 2: Detach and Re-Evaluate

This concept may seem a little odd at first, but it can be extremely useful. Any time you have a THOUGHT about using words that you think may potentially demean or diminish a person. Detach. Look at yourself in the third person. Ask yourself “What good will this accomplish”? If your answer is none, then ensure that those words are kept to yourself.

Rule 3: Don’t let who you were, affect who you are.

I think that this is one that I struggle with the most. I am constantly reminded of a person that I used to be. Someone that was involved with a lot of “extra-curricular” activities that didn’t necessarily contribute to my education.. I am constantly sent back to that time and hear the devil on my shoulder telling me that’s who I have to remain forever.

Because let’s face it. Change is hard.

These are some simple rules that you can utilize on a daily basis. I know that I really need to start utilizing them to the best of my ability on a daily basis. Try replacing that “Pride” with “Humility”.

Rather than being proud of yourself, your intellect, or your arguments, try to be HUMBLE. Maintain humility as you rise to your next goal. Be PROUD for a day on the goals that you’ve accomplished. Humility is being proud of your success, but realizing how vastly short you fall of the glory of others.

Don’t let pride leak in, move in, and build a house in your mind.

Because once he’s in… It will take hitting rock bottom to get him out. 

Thanks for Reading

  • J